You in July.

We are now officially in the homestretch of sliding into your first birthday.

What     just    happened????

I look at you know and your are time in human form, a little body that represents nearly a year in the world outside the womb. Crazy. I continue to marvel and your facial expressions; I can see you study a toy or rip apart a tissue or open a box or figure out how to steady yourself. I put toys in little places where you can find them by surprise. I'm constantly trying to figure out what new food you might like to try next. I brush your hair out of your eyes and into a sprig on top of your head. I clip your sharp finger nails. I wipe the banana off your face, out of your hair and highchair. You marvel at my earrings, necklaces and eyeglasses. You want to be wherever I am.

You are doing a decent job of trying to sleep through the night, not every night, but once or twice a week. When you wake up at 2:48 a.m., and Daddy goes in to comfort you, it never quite does the trick. If I walk in, you reach for me and settle down quickly. Most of the time, I don't mind; it's more time we get to spend together.

One of your favorite things is when Daddy puts you into the towel I'm holding after your bath. You start smiling even before he leans you back. About 2 minutes later, though, is one of your least favorite things: putting your arms through your sleeve holes. You whine a lot about that. But then again, I like to think you're not crazy about being confined. You hated being swaddled or snuggled too closely. You love stretching out and moving around, which is why I think you were born a month early. ;)

You are moving and pulling up and cruising anywhere and everywhere. You have a spider crawl where you crawl on your hands and feet instead of hands and knees. Kyrie crawled exactly the same way. You don't like it when your bare knees touch hardwood or tile. Daddy has taught you how to show your "muscles." You smile and put up your fists like an old timey prize fighter.  When you're in your highchair, you like to peek at me from behind your sippy cup. You giggle when Daddy pretends he's a ninja. You laugh when I tip you back while holding your hands.

Most days I try to take a picture or video. While I feel present, I also know that you're growing by leaps and bounds and I want to remember what this was like. I'm still working hard to try to be home with you before preschool. On one hand, I love that you are getting social interaction with the other kiddos as Ms. Kristi's house (We had to say goodbye to Ms. Kathy because she is expecting baby #5 and gets very, very sick), on the other, I also want to have the days where we run errands together or go to the park or the library or bake cookies in the middle of the day. I want to work on projects together and enjoy motherhood instead of feeling so fragmented: being a good mom, being a good writer, being a good wife, being a good cook, being a good VMLer, etc.

Right now, I'm planning how to celebrate your first year on the planet. Cupcakes, sprinkles, garland, good people and a lot of hugs and kisses.

I love you, sweet girl!